Biz-Speak 101, which appeared in July/August 2002 issue of PaperAge, contained the first 20-term installment of a BS dictionary of sorts, loosely customized for the pulp and paper industry. The installment in this issue includes 20 more terms. Together, the 40 terms represent a fair mastery of biz-speak that can be used to impress co-workers at staff meetings, strategy sessions, etc. It also can put some much needed pazazz in your letters and email.
As with BS 101, the terms below are not alphabetized or in any particular order. Possibly after BS 301 and 401 later this year, the full, unabridged
BS Dictionary can be alphabetized and annotated for easy reference. The official BS desk set could include a thesaurus (to help you find just the right biz-speak term), BS acronyms, and a BS metric conversion guide.
Thanks to readers who contributed terms. To send more: kpatrick@paperage.com
24/7: Overused but still popular in the paper industry. Another way of saying "around the clock." In reality, 24/7 is typically 7/5, which has little marketing appeal, e.g, "our technical support team is there whenever you need it, 7/5." Often applied as emphatic punctuation to any sentence, in place of a comma or exclamation point.
Webinar: A cyber-speak term that has entered the biz-speak vernacular. A seminar done on the Internet, during which you can sleep, snore, laugh, make faces, ask asinine questions, or shout "Yeh
Right!" in the privacy of your office or room. Without pens, key chains, hard candy, and other truck at tabletop exhibits, most people don't see the point of webinars
like time-share sales presentations without free prizes.
Results-Driven: A Biz-Speak classic. Together with variations and derivatives such as results-oriented, can be used to describe anything (results-oriented maintenance, results-driven accident, etc.).
Room Presence: Don't need a name badge. Future webinar: Improve Your Room Presence without Leaving the Room.
Best Practice: Things pioneered and developed at the expense of others. Can cause bleating and an appetite for grass.
Family: Replaces team as preferred biz-speak to improve employee loyalty and productivity. New family members are shown The Godfather as part of indoctrination.
Out of the Loop: Uninformed. Cut off by the family. Opposite of In the Loop. Only positive in relation to rush hour traffic.
Strategic Fit: Bratty behavior by a spoiled strategist. Typically involves no action, money, time, or thought. Used to puff up press releases. See also Synergies and Strategic Alliance in BS 101.
Synergies: Meaningless, harmless, often imaginary activities companies discover when they merge or form a Partnership, but otherwise never knew they had, such as accounting or administrative efficiencies.
Partnership: Promise to provide higher cost products and a wider array of services to a customer for a new, reduced selling price. Common defensive maneuver by a seller in the midst of a buyers market.
Revisit: Search for mistakes or blame. Good time to take vacation or schedule foot surgery.
Leverage: Something (usually unscrupulous) used to get or take advantage of someone or a situation. Not particularly applicable in the paper industry, which has very little to lever these days.
Solutions: A biz-speak product or service, as in "we sell solutions." Used especially by companies that supply paper clips, thumb tacks, cotter pins, etc.
On the Same Page: Paper industry favorite because it involves paper. Electronic variations include On the Same Frequency, Tuned to the Same Station, Sharing Bandwidth.
Fast Track: Skip the introduction. Throw away the instruction manual. Pay somebody what they're worth now. Paper industry generally does not fast track.
Knowledge Base: No longer applicable in the paper industry, which lost all of its knowledge in recent employee downsizings.
Touch Base: Leave voice message or email. One of many sports-related references used by athletically-inclined biz-speaks. Others include: step up to the plate, strike out, drop the ball, fumble the hand-off, in your court, on the green, kick it through, end zone strategy, in the same boat.
Core Competencies: Things companies did before diversifying, but are no longer organized or structured to handle, and otherwise have forgotten how to do.
Client Focused: Answer and/or return phone calls from customers.
Mindset: A particular way of viewing or looking at somethinggenerally, a company or group perspective. In the paper industry, specifically means "shutdown," "layoff," "closeup," "cut," "idle," "downsize," "dismantle," "reduce," "retract," etc.
